i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize