I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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