You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
