i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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