so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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