We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
