can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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