but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
