this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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