when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
