Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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