he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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