yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
