Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
