When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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