Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
