So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
