If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
