well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
