There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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