I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We named our party play list daddy issues
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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