how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
