You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
