You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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