Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
whose parrot is this?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
