My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
