Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
