ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
