Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
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I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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