if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
