I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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