It's Friday. Sex?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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