Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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