You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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