who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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