North Korea, Best Korea!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
