Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
