Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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