fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
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Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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