i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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