Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dear god my vagina.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize