The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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