i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
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MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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