I just pynch a tree in the face
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize