i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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