I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
