That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize