i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize