dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
