hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize