I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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