we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
