k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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