I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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