It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
