my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Randomize
